Philippians 1:20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death.

21 For me , to live is Christ and to die is gain.


i could say something, but right now i can't, it would ruin this moment for me, maybe i'll elaborate later.

Philippians 2:6&7

We make this so difficult
i know we do, i know we do.

the "extra" rules.
the games we play
the lies we tell
the things we get caught up in


Didn't Jesus say it was a blink?
a blink. see i just blinked. it's gone, gone, all of it.

The money, the awards, everything that dwells in your thoughts
it's gone
all gone
so that blink, what did you do with it?
"nothing"
oh isn't that good, he'll love to hear that
good thing His love is unconditional

it's so fake, why don't you think anyone sees right though it?

i'm going to try to do this post somewhat level-headed. not in one of those emotional whirlwinds that i tend to fly myself into. that's not really fair to you.

or maybe i'll try and pretend i don't care again. this feeling can't last this long. (but the next feeling can't last that long either).



to the rest of you: "take this with a grain of salt". i hate cliche's as much as you, but they illustrate a point. i think. so to lighten everything up once more:

children, please don't ever use the library as a cover-up for a date. especially if you don't read.

but some how it's new every single second.

Ephesians 4:13-16

Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

most things aren't an adventure, but you can make them one. i like that. there are a lot of reasons why.

that night i couldn't sleep. i laid and just thought. thought about the things that you don't have time to think about when your busy, those stupid things. i laid flat on my back, and felt myself breathing. i heard my heart beating and the funny noises that my stomach was making. i heard the rain and the wind outside. i could hear trees creaking, and i could hear my imagination. i could hear it all at once. i don't know what that means, i wouldn't mind if it didn't mean a thing.

that's all, i'm ok with pointless if you are.

here's to another semester at CP
here's to a long day
here's to two teachers that don't know how to properly speak English
here's to learning how to read lips while taking notes
here is to another FABULOUS semester of being patient, non-judgmental, and being joyful!

I have a question.
when do you get to the point when you start learning from past mistakes?
wait I have another one.
when do you permanently die to yourself?
sorry, let me just make a list.
do you ever start trusting, and stop worrying?
why is it so surprising when a prayer gets specifically answered?
and is it so wrong to be happy that it got answered?
i don't think so, but then i wasn't the one the prayer got directed too
they would know
yes they WOULD know

My blog will be going private in a week. So, if you read my blog, OR want to continue reading my blog, post a comment or e-mail me and I will add you.

so i'm sitting here with my -black coffee, wonderful-beverage-in-a-red-mug
it's cold outside, and it's friday.

odd, how i can be in a horrible mood, and everything bothers me, and then realizing everything that bothered me were things that weren't worth being bothered about.


maybe i'm not cut out for the things i want to be cut out for. do you think you can want something so much that it makes it possible? even though. i don't. but i think thats alright.

::: it was good, then bad, then good, and now it's worse
:: why?

you want to know what i think?
of course you don't, but you'll find out anyway.

i think death is the worst thing from the fall.
sin doesn't seems so bad compared to death.
you see there is forgivness, and it's immediate.

as much as you can say you are sure what happens after death, you can never be so sure.
isn't there always a doubt.
it would seem to me there is

so i care. so what?
so i care less. now what?
--
how hard do you try before you give up?
--
tear down another facade
draw another line
build another wall
paint another face
--
here's to the something new. here's to the already-been-used.
--

if only emotions had an "on/off" button. or life had a fix button. or a focus button. or a huge flashing arrow would appear, pointing in the right direction.

--
and when do you stop caring, when does it become dulled?
when?