"& your life is marked by the dreaded word of the bible, & it's called compromise, it's that fuzzy Christian middle, and it's the place God hates most"
Louie Giglio

Hardly studying for biology and STILL getting a 94%

that's my small human, college, girls definition of grace.

"He is the Lord,
By his stripes
He's paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation
He is the Lord"

my heart is so unsettled, and i'm afraid I know why.
darn.

In a 24 hour period, if you’re an adult of average weight, here is what you accomplish:

* Your heart beats 103,689 times
* Your blood travels 168,000,000 miles
* You breathe 23,040 times
* You inhale 438 cubic feet of air.
* You eat 3.25 pounds of food
* You speak 4,800 words, including some unnecessary ones
* You move 750 muscles
* You exercise 7,000,000 brain cells.


so even in my most fruitless days...i'm still very productive!

Oh, He’d have me rich, and I stand there poor,
Stripped of all but His grace,
While my memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the paths I can’t retrace.
Then my desolate heart will well-nigh break
With tears that I cannot shed.
I’ll cover my face with my empty hands
And bow my uncrowned head.

No. Lord of the years that are left to me
I yield them to Thy hand.
Take me, make me, mold me
To the pattern Thou hast planned."

i'm tired of this crap were people think God is just a fun thing to hang onto for a while.

i'm tired of it.

I wonder how God feels.

i'm mad and i'm hurt.
but most of all i'm mad.

I am so thankful right now.

WOW, that was incredible.

thanks God


there is not one like you Oh Holy God
let my heart never wander from your constant truths
let my memory never cease to fail to remind me of you marvelous deeds
for you are the one that brought me out of my slavery to sin
into your marvelous light
day after day I will recount your marvelous deeds
day after day
may my memory never cease to remind me
never cease, to remind me
of your marvelous deeds.

some people make you feel so... so...


when you talk to someone, whom you know has been with God, something just reflects off of them, and it feels wonderful. something I wouldn't replace for the world. it was just a 20 sec conversation tonight, that's all.
they weren't trying to have the biblical answer
no, it didn't even seem like they were trying at all
I hate when people do that...try to much.
There are a lot of people that try too hard
but if He's in you, like really in you, and you are in Him,
defined by Him, you shouldn't have to try.
He'll just flow out of you.

that's all I have to say.

how could such a beautiful perfect moment, turn into such a heavy one.

...and the color you painted the sky yesterday, thank you for that. Thank you for the way it glowed from the trees and the clouds and all of our faces. Thank you for the bright blue and the soft blue and the green and gold and burnt patches of sky. Sometimes I notice a little bit of the beauty; I notice the color in the very corner or the line of a cloud. I never notice it all, I never comprehend that much beauty. Sometimes I am angry because I don't have the capacity. Sometimes I'm bitter because you made me this way. Other times I'm scared.

ha! you thought I got a new car didn't you.
yea, that's what I wanted you to think. and i'm still very seriously considering that.

buttt
a few months ago I signed up for this "club"
what club you ask.
the Junky Car Club.

I think I fit in nicely...seeing as how I have a junky car.

and that kinda got me thinking again. I don't NEED a new car yet. mine still runs.

ugly? yes
rattly? yes
un-cool? definitely

but that's ok, because that is where I am for now

in the past couple of weeks I have become increasingly more un-satisfied with my current car situation. yes, i'm still driving the family van.

i'm 17 for goodness sake, shouldn't I have my own car.
well, i'm waiting till i'm18, or...I was planning on waiting till I was 18
why? because insurance is so much cheaper.

I think i'll leave this hanging for now.

is it me, or does the no elbows on the table "rule" seem a little...odd.
I mean, they're just elbows.

I got that feeling again yesterday.
the one i've tried so desperately to not have.
but it felt great.

i'm off again, to take another biology test.
oh dear!

“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”

I was told a few days ago, that the stairs in our new house will be so beautiful I could get married on them.

whatever that means

Psalm 42:11
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.