the joy's of online Christmas shopping..

i've never really been one for it, i like to take part in the "experience" but what do you do when you can't find the "it."
you resort to other, less desirable avenues...

the best part, free shipping...
forget the additional costs of shipping.

not today folks.

free shipping, clearance prices.... i'm smelling a good deal.

much better then buying the $99 alternative.

much better.

what do we learn in sociology...

handy things let me tell you...

like how to do the soulja boy dance...to bad that song is a bunch of.....junk.

hahaha
my sociology class rocks...
no really

try having your teacher rap
just try it,

what do you do when you are bored and have nothing to do...read old xanga's fo' sure.

this made me laugh ming:

Yesterday morning we went bike riding around Lauren's neighborhood because they were having a community garage sale. Anyway I was between Ying and Lauren. Lauren was in front and my front wheel was about halfway past her back wheel...
Anywayys we rode like this for a while until we see a car *a police car nonetheless* driving so Lauren decides to whip her bike to the left and I didn't whip it.
This resorted in me pretty much flipping off the bike and rolling on to the pavement (yeah I know really graceful.)
So yeah, I really felt loved at this point because Ying and Lauren are like "ahahahhaha Ming hahah are haha you hahahhaha ok? hahahah." I was fine. But if I wasn't I wonder what they would have done =P
Oh and it gets better not only did I look like a complete idiot in front of Ying and Lauren, but then the policeman drives up and is like "Are you ok?" "Oh yeah I'm fine." "Are you sure?" "Yeah I'm sure."
Now this wasn't just a policeofficer he was what Lauren would call a....nevermind. lol
Anyway since the chain fell off of the bike I walked it back to her house and Ying and Lauren wished they had gotten it on video.
Maybe you had to be there though...hmm.
Chances are no one even reads this except for Lauren, Ying and maybe Carter.lol

We had wayyy to much fun at Ying's expense. haha.

oh let's goo back to the days when all our fun was at ying's expense and not yours ming :P

What's the point?

I pretty much always ask that question. Maybe its because I'm a lazy bum and I have to have a reason to do something. Maybe its that I'm wondering where it will take me. Either way I think that if I trusted than I'd be able to do something without asking 'what's the point of this?'

Its really makes you wonder.

What I found especially disheartening today was how much is left to do, and things I should have done but have yet to. Something I'm crazy to attempt at this point.

Sitting, Waiting, Watching (wishing).

do you ever wonder....why are you here, because it doesn't seem like your are furthering the kingdom at all, my attempts are lame, and lacking motivation.

I had thought of something profound, but it has recently escaped me.
lucky for you i wrote it down...i just can't find it

However, fear not, for I am determined to design another intuitive statement

i hope i never get over how big the sky is, or how small grains of sand are, or how wonderful dreams are, i hope i never get over love, and how rich it feels, or how death can look so beautiful, i hope i never get over those feeling that make you want to sit and ponder, those are the greatest times when you are at peace and you just sit. of all i can say is that i love being reminded.

oh, and God answers prayer, surprise!

i'm glad that our God is much more patient than me
if i was God, i'd probably have got bored, and killed off mankind.
it's probably a good thing i'm not God.
(He's also alot smarter than me as well)
guess what, not only does He understand, He invented.
that's pretty cool in my book.

i can imagine God laughing at me, in the best way. I can imagine Him smiling and holding out His hands while i hold onto something that breaks. I'll keep falling, and falling and saying i can do it on my own . and finally He'll laugh and take my hands and tell me i can't.
and i'm ok with that.

Great is Your faithfulness
To carry on with a sinner like me
Great is Your faithfulness
Turning shame into victory
Your grace has never let me be
Your mercy’s waited patiently
Oh, so great is Your faithfulness
To carry on with a sinner like me

the newsboys say it better

thats all.

There's nothing glorious about confession. Nothing heroic in admitting to the dirty corners of your heart. They (among other sin) are what make me a sinful person, a fallen creature. Apart from God, unholy. Its amazing when we get those momentary glimpses at what we really are - its disheartening. I wish I could forget them. Discard them, lose them. Its discouraging, but at the same time..it makes you a perfect candidate for God's grace.


Sometimes its hard to think of sin in you. You think you can count your sins on one hand. But sometimes there's this huge eye-opener into your person and you see all this dirt and you're kind of blown away by how human you are.


That is the gospel - God's undying love for you, Jesus' sacrifice and sufficiency and redemption for you, the Holy Spirit's presence and work and transformation in you. That is the good news. And it is good news, literally, in a very basic, simple sense.

It makes a beautiful and somehow...fragile, paradox, doesnt it? Ugly but beautiful, filthy but made pure, unholy but made holy, estranged from God but reconciled, a fallen creature made a new creation, depraved but redeemed...

His love is endless, immeasurable, priceless, unfathomable, inconceivable to humans. which is why faith is so important. but so slippery.

so we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. because He is how it all makes sense. He is the bridge between us and God. the propitiation for our sin. the glorious and life-saving irrationality. He is our newfound logic, which defies all other earthly logic. "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son, to make a wretch His treasure" who does that? who gives Jesus, the spotless pure beloved Son for wretches? thats us, the wretches. and we're His. all His.
it is truly how we know what love is.

mmm

glory - that is an extravagant word. it sounds like it has all the trimmings. almost gaudy but not, because it's also pure - the height of harmony. i wish words walked around all day. right when we say them; that they'd be birthed right then and there. that we'd actually see them rumble out of our mouths and dust themselves off as they prance down our breath, with the air of a black and white film or as beautiful as a dream, all our sentences forming this ornate parade of thought. they would be so elegant in their resigned meanings and formality. they'd strut or stroll about, and speak into the ear of the person you are talking to. and that horrible feeling of regretting something you've said would finally be comprehensible when you see that word still blundering about your tabletop where you uttered it into being; just not disappearing as it should.

i think it's better the way it is though. words are powerful enough when just heard.

and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. -matthew 28: 20b

i think i should write this in huge letters on my arm with my sharpie. you know make it permanent and every time i need to re-sharpie it, it'll be re-sharpied into my brain.

today i realized that God is/was very present even in something as simple as school. I think He sent a good grade, just to prove His point.

i was pretty concerned about this math test...okay very concerned.
i have some verses printed out next to my computer...


one is matthew 6:30
"For if He so clothe the grass of the filed which today is, and tomorrow is throw into the oven, how much more does He care for you, O ye of little faith?"

my eyes coudn't help but be drawn to that verse every time i studied for my test

Now understand this story is slightly dated, coo likes to take his time grading tests...which i was totally okay with..

every time i thought about that crazy test i kept reminding my self it's in God's hands
no reason to worry, what's done is done, and i did what i knew to do
and as stupid or weird as that sounds, thats okay, 'cause that is what i did

so coo decided to bring in those tests today.
they start going around the room.
at this point i was just a bit sorry for the first time ever i didn't sit in the front today.
here i am in the back catching glances of my paper...
why you may ask?
'cause i have the wonderful privilege of being given the best last name in the world.
now this doesn't always come in handy...especially when you do presentations in alphabetical order...but i won't go into that rant now.
anyways were was i...
oh yes so i see that the first question has 2 points off of it...yea i knew that was coming.
the worst part was who knew what laid behind that first page!

after minutes of agony my fate was reveled.....

sorry for the random thoughts...i couldn't make much out of them today.

lately i have felt pretty content
& i hate every minute of it.
i need to be taught something...
let me assure you, the good part of me is not real (wait was there one?). i will probably think horrible thoughts about you, because there is nothing, nothing good about me.
your like that too, scary isn't it? we're all like that. i find myself repulsive.
but yet...

and i think i'm left with nothing to say, when theres way too much to be said.

are you ever just not in the mood to be on earth...or maybe that's just me.

He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17

i don't get it, i just don't. but thats ok with me, well that's what i thought. maybe i am not

i hope that in heaven we won't always be dancing. i hope there'll be rainy days still, and thunderstorms. i hope that after we've spent hours, or years, dancing and singing, we'll be tired a little, and we'll fall down and close our eyes and rain will splash on our faces.
i hope that lightning will strike us and it'll be a beautiful feeling. i hope that thunder will make us feel a little bit uncomfortable still, to remind us that God is still God, even though we're in heaven.
somehow i don't think we'll need reminding.
i suppose nothing i can hope for now will ever be even close to what heaven's going to be.
that's a good thought.

From the rising of the sun to it's going down the Lord's name is to be praised.

Daniel7:27
Then the sovereignty, power and greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven will be handed over to the saints, the people of the Most High. His kingdom, and all rules will worship and obey him.


vs.14....
His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.

i'm kinda done with caring what people think about me.
it's worthless
with that said


do you ever just crave so hard to be able to understand people and love them?
everyone needs something.
they put up this front and then they believe that no one can see through it
well that's hopeless
'cause we can
they have no purpose, and they feel like they have no hope

i never realized what the real world looks like
nor do i really know now.
it's better this way...seeing a little bit at a time i mean